Chad Kroeger Announces Music Industry Takeover; All Public and Private Spotify Playlists to be Replaced with Nickelback’s Greatest Hits

Breaking news: Nickelback’s ever-so-popular frontman Chad Kroeger announced early this morning his complete and utter takeover of every aspect of the industry- effectively replacing everyone in their respective field (as such, this will be our final posting before we surrender the business to our new Supreme Leader. In his new reign, our Supreme Leader has initiated a 2-week installment of a plan that should last deep into the end of the next 3,000 years. His First Decree indicates that all public and private Spotify playlists will be wiped entirely and with Nickelback’s Greatest Hits. Mass panic over the new decree begins today at noon sharp and pleas for Kanye West to take back what is rightfully his begins as a sit-in at sundown.


2016election

…Okay, not really.

But, good news: If you are a registered voter in the State of Michigan, you can vote in today’s primary election for your candidate of choice.

(aka “MICHIGAN! YOUR PRIMARY ELECTIONS ARE TODAY!”). 

The polls are open from 7 a.m.-8 p.m

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO VOTE! It’s literally one of the easiest things you can ever do!

ATTN: Absentee Ballots: Saturday March 5th marked the deadline to get an absentee ballot mailed by a local clerk. BUT registered voters who applied for absentee ballots must return their ballots to the local clerk by 8 p.m. on Election Day for their votes to count.

HELPFUL LINKS FOR INFORMATION ON VOTING TODAY (including what identification to bring): 

http://www.michigan.gov/sos/0,1607,7-127-1633—,00.html

http://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/politics/elections/2016/03/07/voter-guide-primary-primer/81440368/

https://webapps.sos.state.mi.us/MVIC/

berniesanders

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