Have you ever fallen in love and/or been in a relationship with someone toxic? Do you remember the toxicity of it all in the form of words spewed, arguments had, and late nights staring with anxious dread at your cell phone? Do you remember the happier moments and find your heart sinking at the looming shadows of dreary points in the relationship- the one’s so clearly overhead now, yet impossible to see in the throes of it all?
For every microscopic moment of swelling love, crushing defeat, and unbearable minute of it all; for every anxiety-ridden interaction; for every feeble glimmer of hope there’s a story to tell- right to the point where you finally recognize your self worth and walk away from it all. For one independent New York singer/songwriter, a pen hit the page in recognition and protest of her harrowing experience. This is DEMAR and her story, as well as her steadfast efforts culminate in her freshly-released EP Rebels.
Filled with a whirlwind of brooding emotions, DEMAR’s Rebels is a clear alt-pop soundtrack to a mini-series of one of life’s most tumultuous turning points. To those who have suffered through and either learned from- or are looking to learn from- an ultimately emotionally abusive relationship, Rebels is the album for all of those micro-stages of loss and healing.
Today, we have the utmost pleasure in delving into the gritty details of Rebels in this exclusive track-by-track breakdown of the EP, penned by DEMAR herself! A selection of tracks are embedded with each description, as well as a full-album stream below, courtesy of Spotify. Enjoy!
“Wild Ride” kicks off the EP an explains the nature of the relationship that inspired these songs. the push-and-pull; the ups-and-downs of a somtimes incredible, but mostly heartbreaking situation where I had to deal with loving a man who kept me around but didn’t love me in the same way.
This track shows the darker, sexier side of the relationship–the excitement that comes from doing something you know you shouldn’t. I wrote this song after being out one night and seeing my ex with his new girlfriend. It was my way of showing a bit of my fierce and sassier side and saying “she may be on your arm, but I see the way you’re looking at me. I know who you’re thinking about when you leave.”
This is the darkest track on the EP. “Not Afraid” delves into where my state of mind was throughout this relationship. I admit how impactful his every action was on me. A simple phone call, or lack of one, had complete control over my emotions and psyche. Although I come to understand this, I admit that I’m ok with it. At the time, I was not afraid to live that way if it meant I got to be with him.
“Games” is the rock bottom of the relationship. With just the single guitar and vocals, the stripped-down nature of the track shows that I’ve been stripped of any amount of fight I had left. I’ve basically bared my soul and can’t understand why I’ve allowed this back-and-forth and this heaviness to weigh on me mentally and emotionally. Writing this song was my way of releasing the confusion and questions I had because I could not bring myself to actually ask him.
This track brings the situation and the EP full circle. It’s about finding inner strength and finally recognizing this relationship will only continue to bring pain. The extreme highs do not counteract the extreme lows. Writing this was the first time in the songwriting process I felt strong. “Rebels” showed me I could do the right thing for myself even though it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do- and that was walking away.